My Daily War

I'm going to be completely honest. Sometimes I get really tired of waiting. Sometimes I just want what I want and I want it when I want it. But whoa there, that's pretty selfish. And sometimes I just feel like saying, "Yes! It is selfish! Can't I just be selfish for a minute?!"
But of course that answer is no. Of course I know I shouldn't be selfish. But I can't escape the fact that sometimes it is hard.
So what should I do? God warned me of this. In His word He told me that there would be times when my flesh and my spirit would wage war with one another. Because really the truth is that my spirit desires to do God's will more than anything. I desire so much to please God. No matter what. But my flesh desires to have it's own way. To get what it wants now. So I struggle. I struggle daily because it's not easy to deny myself. It's not easy to say, "Not my will, but Yours be done, Lord." It's definitely not easy to deny myself. But I know that it is necessary. Because I know that my flesh will some day pass away. But my spirit is eternal. The decisions I make now do not just effect me now - they have eternal effects. And I must remember this. So I decide, right now, every day, to die to self. I decide to submit myself to God's will. I decide to trust Him. No matter what. No matter where that takes me. No matter if He ever gives me what I want or not. No matter if other people understand. I decide to follow Him. No if's, and's, or but's. And I know HE will provide me the strength I need. I can't do it on my own. I won't ever do it on my own. But with my focus on HIM and through His grace I will make it. And I know that every step is extremely worth it.