My Daily War

I'm going to be completely honest. Sometimes I get really tired of waiting. Sometimes I just want what I want and I want it when I want it. But whoa there, that's pretty selfish. And sometimes I just feel like saying, "Yes! It is selfish! Can't I just be selfish for a minute?!"
But of course that answer is no. Of course I know I shouldn't be selfish. But I can't escape the fact that sometimes it is hard.
So what should I do? God warned me of this. In His word He told me that there would be times when my flesh and my spirit would wage war with one another. Because really the truth is that my spirit desires to do God's will more than anything. I desire so much to please God. No matter what. But my flesh desires to have it's own way. To get what it wants now. So I struggle. I struggle daily because it's not easy to deny myself. It's not easy to say, "Not my will, but Yours be done, Lord." It's definitely not easy to deny myself. But I know that it is necessary. Because I know that my flesh will some day pass away. But my spirit is eternal. The decisions I make now do not just effect me now - they have eternal effects. And I must remember this. So I decide, right now, every day, to die to self. I decide to submit myself to God's will. I decide to trust Him. No matter what. No matter where that takes me. No matter if He ever gives me what I want or not. No matter if other people understand. I decide to follow Him. No if's, and's, or but's. And I know HE will provide me the strength I need. I can't do it on my own. I won't ever do it on my own. But with my focus on HIM and through His grace I will make it. And I know that every step is extremely worth it.

Once Upon a Time...I Had a Plan

Once upon a time, I had a plan. It was a pretty good plan. At least, I thought so. I was gonna go to school online to be a medical transcriptionist. I was gonna graduate with awesome grades (I hoped 98% GPA or higher) and then get a job working from home as a transcriptionist. And then...do that until I got married. Or something. Well. God turned my plan around a little bit. ;) I still did my MT schooling. But it was A LOT harder than I expected it to be. I did still graduate with pretty good grades (due to God's grace I received a 94% GPA). Then I started looking for a job. And looking... and looking... and looooooking. Six months passed. I still didn't even have a job offer. In the meantime I had started teaching piano lessons. I had three students. All this time I was praying. I was praying God would lead me. I was praying for His guidance and direction. Three things happened: 1. I felt God was calling me to continue with my piano studio. 2. I felt God was calling me to develop and use the gift of writing He had given me. 3. I started feeling like He was calling me AWAY from MTing. After months of praying for God to lead me, something very big happened. God doubled my piano studio in one day. I went from having 3 students to 7 students in ONE AFTERNOON. I was amazed and in awe. Now I was POSITIVE this was the way God was calling me. I still don't know exactly what He's doing with me. I still don't know exactly where I'll end up in 1 month. Or even 2 or 3. But I do know this: God has a plan. And His plan is best. And I'm gonna follow it.

The 2012 James 4:8 Challenge

Wow. My first blog post of 2012. How exciting. It is also my first blog post since Thanksgiving, I'm a little ashamed to admit. Well I just wrote out a new list of goals today, and one of them is to post on here at least once a week. So, Lord willing, you'll be seeing a little more of me. Of course I will continue to post about random (or not-so-random) things that arouse my interest...but if you ever have something you'd just love for me to write about- let me know!! :)
Well it is 2012. A new year. A new beginning for some people. This year I have challenged some of my friends, and myself, with something I am calling the James 4:8 Challenge. I would like to challenge you as well. James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Do you desire to be closer to God? I know that I do. Well then we must draw near to Him. Two really big ways to do this are reading His Word and spending time in prayer. So this year, I challenge you to do just that! Read His Word EVERY day. Pray EVERY day. If you are already doing those things, that is great! I challenge you to spend even MORE time in His Word and prayer this year. I guarantee you if you are digging deep into His Word and pouring your heart out to Him, your relationship with Him will deepen. So this year it is my personal commitment to spend more time in the Word and prayer! I hope you will as well!
P.S. If these are areas you struggle in, you may find a daily Bible and a prayer journal to be immensely helpful. Some friends of mine have started a Facebook group called "Bible Study on FB". It is a group where believers post scriptures and discuss them. If you are interested, check it out!